Do you wish you were buff? Too bad, because most likely you are not. Let’s be honest, this winter did you really get out of bed every morning and work out? Or did you sit around, play fortnite, and eat those miniature microwave Costco pizzas. Winter’s descent into the horizon brings the first signs of summer emerging from the abyss. The season of toned abs, popping biceps, and robust calves is finally among us. Ladies around Timpview and Provo are looking for summer links, but the real question is… are you ready? Maintaining the Brad Pitt Fight Club bod can be especially difficult, and if you haven’t put in any work yet, things might not be looking too bright for you. However, in recent times, it seems as if the dad bod is gaining more popularity by the minute. Chubby chasers are becoming more common, and carrying a little junk in the trunk may have more positives than you think. So if you’re rocking a dad bod this summer and feeling discouraged about your chances of getting any game, don’t fret, this summer you can still be large with the ladies.
“Dad bods are perfect for cuddling,” said sophomore Macy Heyman, “you can easily get all cozy when cuddling with one.” Macy brings up a good point. The rock hard abs and strong biceps may be good for show, but when it comes to snuggling on the couch, those muscles will make you feel less like a pillow and more like a pile of bricks. On the flip side, a nice chubby boy is soft, and those love handles serve well when cuddling and watching a movie… maybe some “Lard of the Rings”? Along with being good for cuddling, girls love dad bods because it makes them look good when standing next to their husbands. I mean, look at Adam Sandler’s wife. All alone she looks pretty average, but when she’s standing next to her short, “flabulous” husband, she looks like a supermodel. Ladies want their husbands to have a little something, so that they’ll look like Gisele when standing next to them.
However, despite this recent surge in popularity of the dad bod, many people still lean in favor of the buff bod. “Abs are just so damn hot,” said sophomore Ella Obidi. “It shows that the guy prioritizes his health, that he is in good shape, and that he can defend you from anything.” Ella brings up a good point, sometimes it isn’t all about that base. The dad bod isn’t as menacing as the buff bod, and is a lot less effective at defending the missus from robbers, murderers, and any other danger that comes your way. Along with being physically inferior, women also tend to view the dad bod as an “ick” due to possible uncanny physical resemblance. “When a guy has a dad bod it reminds me of my dad” said Sophomore Hallie Hawkins. Hallie is speaking facts. Imagine sitting on a couch and glancing over at your man, and for a split second see your dad sitting in his place. Personally, I can imagine nothing worse than that.
Ultimately, it seems as if women are divided when it comes to dad bods. While many women prefer the demure attractiveness of a slim, buff man, there are still women who prefer to party at the “Lardi Gras.” However, while body type may seem like the ultimate trait in attracting women, it really all comes down to confidence. Women don’t need a man who is buff or fit, they just need a man who is confident in their own size and comfortable with their body. What girls least want is a man who is ashamed of his weight, and who displaces that anger and anxiety onto her. So whatever you do, and whatever size shirt you fit, always remember to live large.
