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The Thunderbolt

Timpview's official news site

The Thunderbolt

Timpview's official news site

The Thunderbolt

The best vlog you’ve ever seen

Jackson Bertasso

Up-and-coming social influencer Jackson Bertasso makes his debut, featuring his involved and out-of-focus life at Timpview High School.

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  • J

    Jimmothy JohnsonSep 27, 2019 at 3:09 PM

    According to all known laws
    of aviation,

    there is no way a bee
    should be able to fly.

    Its wings are too small to get
    its fat little body off the ground.

    The bee, of course, flies anyway

    because bees don’t care
    what humans think is impossible.

    Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
    Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

    Ooh, black and yellow!
    Let’s shake it up a little.

    Barry! Breakfast is ready!

    Ooming!

    Hang on a second.

    Hello?

    – Barry?
    – Adam?

    – Oan you believe this is happening?
    – I can’t. I’ll pick you up.

    Looking sharp.

    Use the stairs. Your father
    paid good money for those.

    Sorry. I’m excited.

    Here’s the graduate.
    We’re very proud of you, son.

    A perfect report card, all B’s.

    Very proud.

    Ma! I got a thing going here.

    – You got lint on your fuzz.
    – Ow! That’s me!

    – Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000.
    – Bye!

    Barry, I told you,
    stop flying in the house!

    – Hey, Adam.
    – Hey, Barry.

    – Is that fuzz gel?
    – A little. Special day, graduation.

    Never thought I’d make it.

    Three days grade school,
    three days high school.

    Those were awkward.

    Three days college. I’m glad I took
    a day and hitchhiked around the hive.

    You did come back different.

    – Hi, Barry.
    – Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.

    – Hear about Frankie?
    – Yeah.

    – You going to the funeral?
    – No, I’m not going.

    Everybody knows,
    sting someone, you die.

    Don’t waste it on a squirrel.
    Such a hothead.

    I guess he could have
    just gotten out of the way.

    I love this incorporating
    an amusement park into our day.

    That’s why we don’t need vacations.

    Boy, quite a bit of pomp…
    under the circumstances.

    – Well, Adam, today we are men.
    – We are!

    – Bee-men.
    – Amen!

    Hallelujah!

    Students, faculty, distinguished bees,

    please welcome Dean Buzzwell.

    Welcome, New Hive Oity
    graduating class of…

    …9:15.

    That concludes our ceremonies.

    And begins your career
    at Honex Industries!

    Will we pick ourjob today?

    I heard it’s just orientation.

    Heads up! Here we go.

    Keep your hands and antennas
    inside the tram at all times.

    – Wonder what it’ll be like?
    – A little scary.

    Welcome to Honex,
    a division of Honesco

    and a part of the Hexagon Group.

    This is it!

    Wow.

    Wow.

    We know that you, as a bee,
    have worked your whole life

    to get to the point where you
    can work for your whole life.

    Honey begins when our valiant Pollen
    Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.

    Our top-secret formula

    is automatically color-corrected,
    scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured

    into this soothing sweet syrup

    with its distinctive
    golden glow you know as…

    Honey!

    – That girl was hot.
    – She’s my cousin!

    – She is?
    – Yes, we’re all cousins.

    – Right. You’re right.
    – At Honex, we constantly strive

    to improve every aspect
    of bee existence.

    These bees are stress-testing
    a new helmet technology.

    – What do you think he makes?
    – Not enough.

    Here we have our latest advancement,
    the Krelman.

    – What does that do?
    – Oatches that little strand of honey

    that hangs after you pour it.
    Saves us millions.

    Oan anyone work on the Krelman?

    Of course. Most bee jobs are
    small ones. But bees know

    that every small job,
    if it’s done well, means a lot.

    But choose carefully

    because you’ll stay in the job
    you pick for the rest of your life.

    The same job the rest of your life?
    I didn’t know that.

    What’s the difference?

    You’ll be happy to know that bees,
    as a species, haven’t had one day off

    in 27 million years.

    So you’ll just work us to death?

    We’ll sure try.

    Wow! That blew my mind!

    “What’s the difference?”
    How can you say that?

    One job forever?
    That’s an insane choice to have to make.

    I’m relieved. Now we only have
    to make one decision in life.

    But, Adam, how could they
    never have told us that?

    Why would you question anything?
    We’re bees.

    We’re the most perfectly
    functioning society on Earth.

    You ever think maybe things
    work a little too well here?

    Like what? Give me one example.

    I don’t know. But you know
    what I’m talking about.

    Please clear the gate.
    Royal Nectar Force on approach.

    Wait a second. Oheck it out.

    – Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!
    – Wow.

    I’ve never seen them this close.

    They know what it’s like
    outside the hive.

    Yeah, but some don’t come back.

    – Hey, Jocks!
    – Hi, Jocks!

    You guys did great!

    You’re monsters!
    You’re sky freaks! I love it! I love it!

    – I wonder where they were.
    – I don’t know.

    Their day’s not planned.

    Outside the hive, flying who knows
    where, doing who knows what.

    You can’tjust decide to be a Pollen
    Jock. You have to be bred for that.

    Right.

    Look. That’s more pollen
    than you and I will see in a lifetime.

    It’s just a status symbol.
    Bees make too much of it.

    Perhaps. Unless you’re wearing it
    and the ladies see you wearing it.

    Those ladies?
    Aren’t they our cousins too?

    Distant. Distant.

    Look at these two.

    – Oouple of Hive Harrys.
    – Let’s have fun with them.

    It must be dangerous
    being a Pollen Jock.

    Yeah. Once a bear pinned me
    against a mushroom!

    He had a paw on my throat,
    and with the other, he was slapping me!

    – Oh, my!
    – I never thought I’d knock him out.

    What were you doing during this?

    Trying to alert the authorities.

    I can autograph that.

    A little gusty out there today,
    wasn’t it, comrades?

    Yeah. Gusty.

    We’re hitting a sunflower patch
    six miles from here tomorrow.

    – Six miles, huh?
    – Barry!

    A puddle jump for us,
    but maybe you’re not up for it.

    – Maybe I am.
    – You are not!

    We’re going 0900 at J-Gate.

    What do you think, buzzy-boy?
    Are you bee enough?

    I might be. It all depends
    on what 0900 means.

    Hey, Honex!

    Dad, you surprised me.

    You decide what you’re interested in?

    – Well, there’s a lot of choices.
    – But you only get one.

    Do you ever get bored
    doing the same job every day?

    Son, let me tell you about stirring.

    You grab that stick, and you just
    move it around, and you stir it around.

    You get yourself into a rhythm.
    It’s a beautiful thing.

    You know, Dad,
    the more I think about it,

    maybe the honey field
    just isn’t right for me.

    You were thinking of what,
    making balloon animals?

    That’s a bad job
    for a guy with a stinger.

    Janet, your son’s not sure
    he wants to go into honey!

    – Barry, you are so funny sometimes.
    – I’m not trying to be funny.

    You’re not funny! You’re going
    into honey. Our son, the stirrer!

    – You’re gonna be a stirrer?
    – No one’s listening to me!

    Wait till you see the sticks I have.

    I could say anything right now.
    I’m gonna get an ant tattoo!

    Let’s open some honey and celebrate!

    Maybe I’ll pierce my thorax.
    Shave my antennae.

    Shack up with a grasshopper. Get
    a gold tooth and call everybody “dawg”!

    I’m so proud.

    – We’re starting work today!
    – Today’s the day.

    Oome on! All the good jobs
    will be gone.

    Yeah, right.

    Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,
    stirrer, front desk, hair removal…

    – Is it still available?
    – Hang on. Two left!

    One of them’s yours! Oongratulations!
    Step to the side.

    – What’d you get?
    – Picking crud out. Stellar!

    Wow!

    Oouple of newbies?

    Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!

    Make your choice.

    – You want to go first?
    – No, you go.

    Oh, my. What’s available?

    Restroom attendant’s open,
    not for the reason you think.

    – Any chance of getting the Krelman?
    – Sure, you’re on.

    I’m sorry, the Krelman just closed out.

    Wax monkey’s always open.

    The Krelman opened up again.

    What happened?

    A bee died. Makes an opening. See?
    He’s dead. Another dead one.

    Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.

    Dead from the neck up.
    Dead from the neck down. That’s life!

    Oh, this is so hard!

    Heating, cooling,
    stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,

    humming, inspector number seven,
    lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,

    mite wrangler. Barry, what
    do you think I should… Barry?

    Barry!

    All right, we’ve got the sunflower patch
    in quadrant nine…

    What happened to you?
    Where are you?

    – I’m going out.
    – Out? Out where?

    – Out there.
    – Oh, no!

    I have to, before I go
    to work for the rest of my life.

    You’re gonna die! You’re crazy! Hello?

    Another call coming in.

    If anyone’s feeling brave,
    there’s a Korean deli on 83rd

    that gets their roses today.

    Hey, guys.

    – Look at that.
    – Isn’t that the kid we saw yesterday?

    Hold it, son, flight deck’s restricted.

    It’s OK, Lou. We’re gonna take him up.

    Really? Feeling lucky, are you?

    Sign here, here. Just initial that.

    – Thank you.
    – OK.

    Reply
  • F

    Foster CavenderSep 26, 2019 at 11:54 AM

    LETS GO JACKSON, idk u, but LETS GO

    Reply
  • J

    Jeffrey JiangSep 26, 2019 at 10:06 AM

    what a babe

    Reply
  • S

    stubsSep 26, 2019 at 9:42 AM

    LONG LIVE JACKSON BERTASSO, WRITER

    Reply
  • G

    GatsbySep 25, 2019 at 2:05 PM

    Old Sport!

    Reply
  • T

    TupacSep 25, 2019 at 9:16 AM

    YAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  • J

    john doxeySep 24, 2019 at 9:47 AM

    Jackson is the coolest guy ever

    Reply