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The Thunderbolt

The Student News Site of Timpview High School

The Thunderbolt

The Student News Site of Timpview High School

The Thunderbolt

One Bathroom to Rule Them All

Every Bathroom in the School Ranked
One+Bathroom+to+Rule+Them+All

It is not a secret that the bathrooms at Timpview High School are atrocious–but which bathroom is the most atrocious? Time to find out.

All categories are out of 10:

Cleanliness → Does it smell bad? Is it usable? Are there paper towels on the ground?

Design → Is it easy to use? Is it private?

Size/Efficiency → How many sinks and stalls are there?

Stock → Does it have paper towels and toilet paper? Are there any soap dispensers?

Repair → Is it falling apart? Does the plumbing work?

Feminine Products (women only) → Are there feminine products? Are there ways to dispose of them?

Urinals (men only) → Are there stalls? Are they well-designed?

Women

#6: D-Wing – 4.83/10

Cleanliness: 4/10, Design: 4/10, Size: 4/10 (points reduced because one stall and one sink do not work), Stock: 7/10 (plenty of soap and paper towels, no feminine products), Repair: 5/10, Feminine Products: 5/10

Review: This bathroom may seem convenient. It’s in the middle of everything–close to the gyms, close to the I-wing, close to the commons–but it’s all a lie. This bathroom is in terrible repair. One of the sinks is completely inoperable, as is one of the stalls. The floor was covered in litter, multiple toilets were not (or could not be) flushed, and the lack of feminine products keeps this bathroom from gaining any extra points from me. The only redeeming factor of this bathroom is that it has three mirrors, which could be useful if multiple girls feel the need to do their makeup or brush their hair at the same time. Altogether, this bathroom is near the bottom with a 4.83/10.

#5: Upper Industrial – 5.83/10

Cleanliness: 7/10, Design: 4/10, Size: 5/10 (bonus points for having a handicapped stall), Stock: 4/10, Repair: 10/10, Feminine Products: 5/10

Review: While this bathroom worked fairly well, its size reduces its overall score. As every woman knows, a line outside of the bathroom is almost inevitable. With only two stalls and one sink, the line would be out the door. Additionally, despite being in decent repair, the bathroom is dingy. It may not be very dirty, but it is dark and cold, and, if it were present in an elementary or middle school, it would definitely have a reputation for being haunted. In addition to its creepy nature, this bathroom has no feminine products AND is a hike up the stairs, so for those of us suffering from cramps due to that-time-of-the-month, I would not recommend using this bathroom unless you already happen to be in the I-wing. For these reasons, the upper industrial women’s bathroom gets a 5.83/10.

#4: A-Wing – 6.16/10

Cleanliness: 8/10, Design: 3/10, Size: 5/10, Stock: 8/10 (not very many stalls or sinks, but they’re all functional), Repair: 8/10, Feminine products: 5/10

Review: This bathroom is the most functional of them all. All three stalls work, both sinks work, and both soap dispensers work. However, this bathroom is very small, meaning that any lines will move very slowly. In addition to that, this bathroom doesn’t have a handicapped stall, and it has no additional privacy. You can see everything from the entrance. And, for some strange reason, this bathroom smells like a weird mixture of cleaning supplies, flowers, and fruit–but in a bad way. The redeeming factor of this bathroom is that it has a full-length mirror, but despite that, this bathroom is a 6.16/10.

#3:  Upper Academic – 6.66/10

Cleanliness: 8/10, Design: 7/10, Size: 9/10 (points reduced because not all of the stalls and sinks work), Stock: 5/10, Repair: 6/10, Feminine Products: 5/10

Review: Although this bathroom was surprisingly clean and large, the lack of feminine products and soap dispensers as well as the disrepair of some of the stalls and sinks reduced the overall score of this bathroom. For girls in a serious state of emergency, this bathroom is not the one to go to. Even though there are quite a few stalls, some of them don’t work, and there will be no feminine products to solve your woes. With a score of 6.66, this bathroom is solidly OKAY.

#2: Thunderdome – 7.16/10

Cleanliness: 8/10, Design: 7/10, Size: 9/10 (a point was reduced because one of the stalls is locked), Repair: 9/10 (everything works, but the water pressure could be better), Stock: 5/10 (only one soap dispenser), Feminine Products: 5/10

Review: If you are in a hurry to get your business done, this is the bathroom for you. During school hours, this bathroom is essentially empty. Because of this, it is fairly clean, and (the single soap dispenser) is well-stocked. However, even if this bathroom was crowded, there are five available stalls, meaning that a line would move quickly. This bathroom is as good as the lower academic one, and for that reason, it receives a 7.16/10.

#1: Lower Academic – 7.33/10

Cleanliness: 8/10, Design: 10/10, Size: 8/10, Stock: 5/10, Repair: 8/10, Feminine Products: 5/10

Review: This bathroom is probably my favorite in the entire school. It has excellent privacy from the entrance, it has many stalls to reduce wait time (all the locks work and there is a handicapped stall), multiple sinks with good water pressure, and more than one mirror. The only downside is that it only has one soap dispenser. Once again, there are no feminine products provided, although there are tins to dispose of them. This bathroom is a little messy, there were paper towels on the floor but compared to how dirty and dingy the D- and I-wing bathrooms were, this one is the best by far. This bathroom gets a 7.33/10.

Honorable Mention: Faculty – 8.08/10

Cleanliness: 8.5/10, Design: 9/10, Size/Efficiency: 8/10, Stock: 8/10, Repair: 10/10, Feminine Products: (no feminine products, there was a way to dispose of them) 5/10

Review: We decided not to include these or seminary bathrooms because they would clearly win, but we still wrote reviews for fun. There were only two stalls and one sink with a mirror and a soap dispenser. However, since there are fewer teachers than students, this is acceptable. There’s no access to feminine products, but there are ways to dispose of them. Very clean and the flowers are a nice touch. Plenty of toilet paper and paper towels.

Men

#6: Upper Academic – 1.7/10

Cleanliness: 0/10, Design: 5/10 Size: 5/10, Stock: 0/10, Repair: 5/10, Urinals: 0/10 (literally none of them worked)

Review: While using this bathroom to write the review, the urinal overflowed and made a giant puddle of pee water which was soaked up by the dozens of wadded-up paper towels on the ground. The sink didn’t work when I tried to wash my hands, both soap dispensers were missing, and both regular toilets were filled to the brim with toilet paper and dookie. The paper towel dispensers offered no respite to my damp, still impure hands. I took a 90-minute cold shower as soon as I got home so I could feel clean again.

#5: Upper Industrial – 4.3/10

Cleanliness: 7/10, Design: 2/10 (useless drain), Size: 7/10, Stock: 6/10, Repair: 4/10, Urinals: 0/10 (perpetually out of order)

Review:  Surprisingly clean. It’s a little small, but it seems to be large enough to do the trick. Soap dispensers were missing. The worst part is that the urinal (which is now broken) is right next to and at the same level as the sink. When you are washing your hands OR peeing, it’s always jaw clenched, eyes ahead. I measured and the edge of the sink is within 12 inches of the urinal edge. The drain in the stall is raised above the rest of the ground, rendering it useless. All over the wall random pipes and metal bits are sticking out.

#4: A-Wing – 5.7/10

Cleanliness: 5/10, Design: 8/10, Size: 6/10, Stock: 2/10, Repair: 4/10, Urinals: 9/10

The horrendously colored beige walls were at least clean. Besides an entire rolled-up roll of toilet paper sitting on the ground, one of the soap dispensers was on the ground and a few paper towels were, of course, sitting on the ground right next to the trash can. The paper towel dispenser had been completely disassembled for some reason? However, the urinal was perfect. It’s very clean, has good plumbing, and is very private. It’s one of the urinals that stick out from the wall a little more and don’t splash no matter how hard you try. Although the soap dispenser itself was gone, the bag on the wall was still there and functional. The hand dryer had good graffiti.

#3: D-Wing – 5.8/10

Cleanliness: 7/10, Design: 8/10, Size: 7/10, Stock: 2/10, Repair: 6/10, Urinals: 5/10

Review: Pretty clean but it just happened to smell like poop and weed when I got in there despite neither of those things being in any of the toilets. There were hardly any paper towels on the ground, probably because this is one of two bathrooms with a hand dryer in it. The plumbing didn’t work too well but all the toilets flushed. There are three urinals with no dividers in between them, but those three urinals are pretty closed off. Felt like a normal restaurant bathroom or something, surprisingly refreshing after enduring the rest of them.

#2: Lower Academic – 6.5/10

Cleanliness: 3/10, Design: 8/10, Size: 10/10, Stock: 2/10, Repair: 7/10, Urinals: 9/10

Review: Most of the toilets were stained an uncomfy yellow color and the floor was damp. All sinks were filled with paper towels. The mirrors were smeared with soap and it smelled like dookie, probably because one of the toilets was filled with it. The design was actually pretty good, the urinals are a full 180 from the door and the sinks are adjacent. You know, like a normal public bathroom. It’s enormous, offering more than enough room for anyone that needs to use it. The soap dispensers happened to be missing when I went in there, and there were no paper towels either. Luckily there was at least one roll of toilet paper in every stall. The doors all have locks but the plumbing is holding on for dear life. The urinals all have very secure and private stalls, but they don’t have great designs.

#1: Thunderdome – 8.2/10

Cleanliness: 9/10, Design: 6/10, Size: 6/10, Stock: 10/10, Repair: 8/10, Urinals: 10/10

Review: Beautiful. Almost always completely empty. There were barely any paper towels on the ground and the mirrors were polished and everything. It has a pretty private design and is pretty big for where it is. However, it’s in an extremely inconvenient place. You have to climb up the stairs and walk halfway around the court to get there, despite the restroom sign being in the hallway below. There were plenty of paper towels and the trash was empty, so it was pretty convenient. Everything worked great. The urinals are the best in the school. They’re the only in-ground urinals in the entire school which, as we all know, are vastly superior to all other types.

Honorable Mention: Faculty – 8.08/10

Cleanliness: 8/10, Design: 10/10, Size: 9/10, Stock: 10/10, Repair: 10/10, Urinals: 10/10

Review: Immaculate. Beautiful. Sophisticated. The urinal is obscured with quality, metal stalls on both sides. The sinks and the toilets both work beautifully. The toilet paper and paper towels were both fully stocked. A little small, but there are a lot fewer people that need to use it. It was perfect.

Final Note:

These lists were separately made by two different people, so scoring between genders isn’t comparable. This article is dedicated to the Lower Industrial bathrooms, rest in peace.

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About the Contributors
Livia Clark, Editor of the Editorial and Entertainment Sections
I love all things politics and government! I am always down for a friendly debate and enjoy writing articles on my position--even if everyone else hates it.
Elijah Harker, Editor in Chief
Editor in Chief of The Thunderbolt, class of '24. I keep bees and collect typewriters. I am often confused

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