Do you still like things you loved when you were little? Has your favorite animal stuck around since elementary school? Do you get “the usual” every time?

Congratulations. You’ve accidentally trained your own personality. 

Why do our favorites often stay the same, even as we grow up? One simple explanation is what psychologists call the “mere exposure effect.” Our brains are wired to prefer things we’re familiar with. We associate predictability with survival, and familiarity with comfort. Especially as young kids, when something makes you feel comfort, joy, or safety, you tend to bookmark it.

The more you are exposed to something, especially the things that make you happy, the more it changes from preference to identity. It makes a really interesting loop: 1) something makes you happy, 2) you like it, 3) you choose it again, 4) it makes you happy again, 5) you like it even more…

Because they’re tied to nostalgia, comfort, or certainty, our favorites often don’t change. We notice that these things mattered to us when we were becoming us. Why would we give up preferences that hold parts of our story? Even though we use favorites to help us feel secure and content, sometimes they can drag us into a physiological trap. 

You probably have a favorite restaurant. And a favorite order. The dish you always get. The sauce you always choose. It tastes good, every time. So why change it? 

Once our brains find something that’s “good enough,” we decide we’re safe and satisfied. It turns into a “this is fine, therefore it’s my personality” mentality. We don’t want to take an unnecessary emotional risk when we’ve found something that works. Instead of continuing to explore, we stick with sources of dopamine that haven’t ever betrayed us. At this point, trying different things changes from a neutral action to risk. With potential disappointment and regret looming behind a broken routine, we decide to stick with the usual instead.

Why would we settle like this? You have the chance to gamble with familiarity. Are you going to rot in the comfort of “good enough,” or risk change for something better?