Hey girl, I’m Leo Auernig, simply put, I be “spittin’ game”.

Make out spots differ amongst Timpview students, and I have seen some wild selections by my peers. Will it be the Rock Canyon Parking lot or the Mormon History Museum? I am Leo Auernig and I have not been kissed since Sophomore year. These are my top 10 makeout spots for Timpview High School Students.

10. Your local Republican Caucus

No need to bring a date to this one! Single 40+ local republicans in your area want to meet you!

9. The Shores of Utah Lake

Sandy toes, and salty kisses. What more could you ask for? Well, apparently some corrupt monopoly developers want to build on OUR lake! If you don’t want to lose our #9 makeout spot and preserve the majestic, oily, and algaic shores of Utah Lake, go to this link → https://conserveutahvalley.org/petition/

8. Laser Tag Arena at Provo Beach Resort

The black lights will give you a good view of your links teeth. A friendly reminder to be mindful of the people you kiss.

7. Buffalo Wild Wings on University Parkway in Orem

This location’s famously slow service might make you impatient. Don’t worry, cushioned seats and benches and tiny little alcove can keep you comfortable while you’re waiting for a table. But I don’t recommend getting any play afterwards if your date got spicy wings, that might leave you with some burning lips.

6. Days Family Market

If they truly are a forever companion, what better place to makeout than where eternal families shop. Day’s is a prestigious Provo establishment that for years has hosted High School Students and shoplifters alike. Expect to see more establishments like Day’s as the New Jerusalem is constructed as the millennium is near.

Destination Honorable Mention: Dixie Rock

If dis you, I pray for you. Change your ways.

5. The George Albert Smith Fieldhouse

An excellent prophet, an excellent makeout spot. Open to the public during weeknights, this is a premium destination for post Family Home Evening or Wednesday Night Mutual Links.

4. The little fenced off area by the East entrance of Timpview

While I can’t personally testify to this one, time and time again I’ve witnessed lovers choosing this spot over other secluded parts of the school. The small fence offers privacy, while still being a very accessible area with lots of great amenities like carpet.

3. Mormon History Museum

Quiet corners, old books, and people dressed in bonnets and wool coats. What else could better set the tone?

2. Tim Shumway’s house

While writing this story, senior Tim Shumway was persistent in telling me that his house was the best spot for making out. Time and time again, he explained to me why it was worthy of making this list. Here are his reasons, “I have an Xbox, couch, and a ping pong table in the garage.” Also, his large family is incredibly welcoming, and notoriously late nite people. Nothing says, “I want to kiss you” like Tim’s signature Salsa Chicken and a late night Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers Director’s Cut Extended Edition.

1. Jillian Freedman’s Basement

If Madison Square Garden is the Mecca of basketball, this one is the Mecca of, well, nothing really because Jillian does not identify with the Muslim faith. This one gives 2016 NBA Finals energy. Things are tense, and it’s a fierce environment. Can you hit a Kyrie clutch shot and end a scoring drought as the curfew clock winds down? Or will you put up a low layup like Andre Igudala only to get blocked by Lebron James.

Considering all these fantastic opportunities I’ve presented to you, feel free to use them and send me an E-mail with any changes you would’ve made or recommendations! As always, Sayonara!