Imagine, you are walking out of your class, the ever-familiar school bell ringing in your ears. You see all the students that make up our wonderful school: athletes, actors, musicians, academics…and lovers? Your quiet contemplation is interrupted by quite the sloppy scene: two students making out in broad daylight. 

Over the past few years, it has become quite apparent that PDA at Timpview has been on the rise. It used to be that you could never catch two T-Birds touching, but now it’s hard to walk more than five feet in the school without gagging at the sight of excess hand-holding and long awkward hugs. Even after school is out, the commons are full of cuddling couples. This increase in STI’s (Students Touching Inappropriately) is shown clearly in the related graph. But what is the driving force behind this influx of smitten students?

Our first hypothesis was that the increase of PDA at school is due to the widespread practice of looksmaxxing among Timpview students. But after extensive research we realized this couldn’t be the case, as our data revealed that Timpview students have some of the lowest jawline scores compared to other schools (see related bar chart). This discouraged us, and we got pretty close to trashing the project altogether. In a last ditch effort, we decided to go to the most divine source of inspiration for help–The Thunderbolt. There, all of our questions were solved. We found a story, written by the late and great Leo Auernig, titled “Top 10 Makeout Spots of Timpview Students” published in March of 2025. After comparing the story’s release date with our charts, we found that since the publication of Auernig’s story, Timpview PDA has skyrocketed (see above graph). 

The numbers don’t lie, and our findings give us solid evidence for the cause behind the tongue-twisted phenomenon occurring at Timpview. Our findings had given us rock solid information, but we needed something less concrete, possibly more… gelatinous. So we took to the hallways to find out what students have to say about it.

As Senior Evan Runia puts it, PDA at Timpview is “close, too close for comfort.” He says that he “doesn’t want to see it in the halls” Evan brings up a good point. School is already grody enough as is, and when you have to endure the sight of two kids doing disturbing things, it gets out of hand. On the topic of disturbing things, sophomore Sasha Tolman said the worst thing she ever saw was “people groping each other’s faces.” She already feels tired at having to go to school every day, and “seeing people kissing each other at 7am” does not help. Junior Gavin Fritsch added to this animosity towards Timpview PDA, saying, “I think it is disgusting and evil.” Fellow junior Todd Knell agreed, saying it “has no place in our school.”

After interviewing various students, we’ve proven that there is a significant hostility towards PDA at Timpview, but what do T-birds think is the cause behind the rise of Timpview “tongue tango”? Gavin Fritsch thinks that it is due to “Hormones, more specifically touch deprivation.”  Senior Evan Runia brings up another good point. He claims that Timpview “wasn’t always this way,” and that T-bird freakiness has increased because of more and more  “freshmen coming into the school thinking [PDA] is the high school experience.”  Sasha Tolman also provided some interesting insights. She described how PDA at Timpview is like a chain reaction, claiming that as more and more people see others doing it, they begin to think it is okay to do as well.

However, our interviews also led to a shocking discovery. When we asked people what they thought about PDA in the hallways, time and time again they were both disgusted and envious at the same time. Sophomore Harold Bingham held this viewpoint, saying, “I mean, I kind of have some thoughts of jealousy sometimes.” Sasha Tolman shared similar feelings, saying that she thinks it makes people both “a little uncomfortable,” and “maybe sometimes jealous.” 

In conclusion, we have no idea what is behind the rise in PDA. Stay freaky T-Birds!