There are two definitions of the word Martyr, according to Oxford Languages:

1. A person who is killed or made to suffer because of their religious or other beliefs.
2. A person who displays or exaggerates their discomfort or distress in order to obtain sympathy or admiration.

Now, before you freak out, my hot take is regarding the second definition of the word martyr. I’m not asking you to go sacrifice yourself. 

But yes, I am asking you to be a martyr. 

However, my idea of what a martyr is doesn’t quite align with that definition. I’ve always found the word martyr to have a negative connotation. But I want to start thinking of it in a positive sense instead. I’m not talking about religion and I’m not talking about seeking sympathy. 

Instead, I’m talking about someone who isn’t afraid to tell others they are in distress. 

Throughout my whole life I have struggled with depression, anxiety, and self-worth. 

But until recently I never told anyone about it. I kept all of my struggles and distress bottled up inside of me, hiding it from everyone who loves me. 

I always felt guilty expressing my pain. Giving in to my inner dialogue that if I told anybody about what I was feeling, then I was a martyr. This dialogue said that compared to what I was going through, there were other people in the world who were in insurmountable amounts of pain. I told myself if I spoke up about my inner struggles that meant I was dismissing others. That I was a horrible person to even think about sharing my pain to get people to pay attention to me. 

But that inner dialogue is absolutely not true. 

You, me, and everyone else has the absolute right to express their distress. 

You do not have to suffer in silence. 

You are allowed to ask for help. 

I’ve gone through periods in my life where I had been struggling so much with my mental health that I broke down and asked for help. But after each time it got easier and easier to ask. Nobody accused me of seeking sympathy. Nobody accused me of dismissing others’ pain. Instead the people in my life praised me for speaking up. They praised me for making people pay attention to me. They praised me for asking for help. 

To me the definition of a martyr is someone who will tell people they are in distress. Yes, a martyr seeks attention and puts themselves on display. But the martyr I want to emphasize, seeks the kind of attention that leads to help for yourself when you are suffering.  

It’s a hot take: Be a Martyr. But a martyr is not afraid to speak up when they need help. 

I believe that right now we all need to learn how to allow ourselves to be a martyr. There is so much pain happening in the world. But you don’t need to keep your struggles to yourself. 

You deserve to be a martyr.