Homo Sapien: Hypebeast


Audrey Hipwell

The hypebeast. An intriguing specimen. This creature can often be found on school basketball courts, as a result of their maxim “ball is life”. The hypebeast is a very old species, almost as old as the human race; however, their evolutionary path seems to be taking a different course than the rest of humanity. Rather than evolving greater intelligence over time, the hypebeast seems to be staying in the same place intellectually while changing his external appearance to fit the current trends. The hypebeast typically wears pants meticulously rolled up so the supreme logo on the socks is visible, fresh nike’s, brightly colored windbreakers to attract females, and beanies. One strange occurrence in this species is that most of them are melanin deficient. Despite this fact, they are very fond of using the n-word, even though melanin sufficient homo sapiens have politely asked them not to, many times. The use of the n-word is one of many ways the hypebeast attempts to assert dominance. The overall attitude and message of this species is, “I don’t care”. This attitude is one of the main reasons for the hypebeast’s intellectual inferiority. The hypebeast species has so much potential, but they like where they are, and as such, rarely make progression. But who knows? Maybe one day the hypebeast will evolve into something greater.