Week Two: Help a Brother Out

Do you struggle with teenage love? Do you have a crush, but just can’t quite figure out what to do about it? Well do we have a solution for you! M&M’s Magic Love Advice is here and ready to answer Timpview’s top questions about the mysteries of love.

DISCLAIMER: M2’s replies are intended to be satirical and just in general bad advice.

Q. My friend is too afraid to ask a girl to be his Valentine, as he thinks he will be teased for it. How can I help him without being too pushy?

This may be a little too late for Valentine’s Day, but the same advice applies to any crush. Honestly, approaching a girl is scary, especially if you’re not sure they reciprocate feelings. As his friend, just do your best to support him and be there for him. Encourage him to talk to her, but take his feelings into account too. Open yourself up as someone he can confide in and do your best to act as a wingman.

When it comes to preventing yourself from coming off as too pushy, take into account his fears. If what’s preventing him is his insecurities, then yeah, encourage him, tell him how lucky any girl would be to be on his arm, tell him he’s worth it, be his wingman, see if she reciprocates feelings. If he’s worried about being teased, show him that you support him and get your other friends to encourage him too. If he sees support from his friends, he’ll probably feel a lot less embarrassed about it.

If he needs advice on how to talk to her, look at our last article. ;)))

–M1

Romance is a very difficult thing, and rejection can be an incredibly difficult and scary prospect. It deters many people everyday, but relationships can’t ever begin if nobody starts them.

However, this fear is a very reasonable thing, as the inevitable bullying, teasing, and harassment afterwards can be seriously damaging. Make sure to tell your friend that you don’t think many people will support him, he isn’t loved, and the odds of rejection are very high. If he still thinks he has a chance, try to tease him and attack his personal insecurities to give him a taste of what’s to come. Tell everyone you know about his crush to increase embarrassment and hurt his self-esteem. Honesty is one of the most important factors in any friendship, and you need to be completely honest with your friend and communicate how unlikely his romantic emotions are to be reciprocated. Set his expectations low and treat him poorly to make it easier if it doesn’t work out, and he’ll only be even more happy if she accepts!

–M2

Q. Do you have any good date ideas?

Bruh, there’s literally already an article about this: Snazzy Saturday date ideas (https://timpviewnews.org/6838/media/snazzy-saturday-date-ideas/).

Otherwise, my personal advice is to choose something you know the other person likes and turn it into an activity. If they’re a film fanatic, find a movie you think they’d like or go to BYU International Cinema. If they like art, paint a sunset at the park or go to the soap factory. Or just straight up spend time together, one of my favorite dates is hammocking in the canyon, stargazing, and just talking. Also, food is ALWAYS good. You can never go wrong with grabbing sushi or ice cream.

–M1

The purpose of all dating is to get married to the person and have kids. As such, one of my favorite dating activities is to replicate that experience by babysitting together. While you watch them, have a cute time changing diapers and listening to the painful wails of the other kids you’re not watching. If it’s a first date, describing your perfect mate, number of kids wanted, and in-depth family history will create an incredibly strong bond.

If you’re looking for something more quirky and surprising, blind dates are always a great idea. After you meet up, blindfold your date and don’t let them take it off. Then see a movie, go to the park, or eat together at a restaurant. Their confusion will be so cute! Explain the movie to them and how funny the visuals are, watch them trip over a bench at the playground, and enjoy their surprise when they accidentally cut into the table instead of the steak they thought they’d be eating!

Or just have a NCMO. That works too.

–M2

Q. What are your thoughts on getting back together with an ex?

On getting back together with an ex, I’m not against it, but you need to make sure the problems and reasons why you broke up in the first place are fixed. If you broke up with them because of miscommunication reasons, talking through your issues and misunderstandings is vital.

Whenever you break up with someone, it’s going to be hard, feelings are going to get hurt, you’re going to remember all the good times you had together and miss them, but unless the reason you broke up is properly discussed, you won’t be able to have a happy or fulfilling relationship and it might end the same way as before. Both people need to evaluate their own issues and work on them. You need to measure your own misgivings and change your own behavior or thought process as well as thoroughly discussing with them what needs to change for the relationship to work.

–M1

I have very personal experience with this topic; my ex and I actually got back together just last week after a while apart. Once we sorted out our issues and discussed the reasoning behind our break-up and how we wanted to treat our relationship in the future, it was really quite easy to rekindle the old flame. I’ve discovered that her amazing qualities are still just as prevalent as ever before, and she’s even lost some of her old bad habits.

I originally feared that things wouldn’t work out, but since she broke up with me ten years ago for playing tag with Suzie Rogers from next door, things have really started to improve. When we watch Blues Clues, play hide-and-seek, or lie down for nap time it reminds me of why our relationship was so good in the first place. It was simple. Even when we get in really bad arguments, resulting in harsh insults like “you’re not my friend anymore” and “I’m telling my mom,” once we have crying fits and take the time to ignore each other things always end up healthy.

–M2

If you don’t see what you want answered here, email us with your questions at [email protected] or submit a paper question outside Chausow’s room, U-28.

DISCLAIMER: Again, M2’s replies are intended to be entirely satirical. Please don’t take them seriously.