Timpview's official news site

The Thunderbolt

Timpview's official news site

The Thunderbolt

Timpview's official news site

The Thunderbolt

Timpview Construction Worker Tells All

An exclusive interview with a real Timpview construction worker
Dusty McDaniel putting on his hard hat
Getty Images
Dusty McDaniel putting on his hard hat

“The Notre Dame cathedral in Paris took over 200 years to build. Each brick was painstakin’ly laid by hand, each doorknob and embellishment carved by artisans from all over France. Over 60 men lost their lives on the job, but when you reverently look up at the beauty and majesty of the cathedral, you can’t help but think that it was worth the sacrifice. That there is what we aim to emulate here with the new school.” Meet Dusty McDaniel, a construction worker working on the new Timpview building.

McDaniel is a very short man and is nicknamed “Dusty” because of all the dirt and debris that gets caught in his large bushy beard. I asked McDaniel everyone’s burning questions about the new school and recorded all his responses for you to enjoy. It’s worth keeping in mind that McDaniel is not an official spokesperson for any of the several companies working on the new building. So without further ado, here is the transcript of our interview.

First, I asked the most burning question on everyone’s minds; “Why did you decide to handle parking the way you did?” Dusty promptly burst into laughter and fell to the ground. “Kid, you’ve got no idea how funny it is lookin’ at all of you little idiots frantically driving and running around in the mornings. We absolutely could have found a place to build a parking lot, but that woulda been a h— of a lot less entertaining than this.

“But in all seriousness, building a parking lot is kinda hard. You’ve gotta, like, bulldoze stuff and s—. We don’t have any patience for that sort of thing. All four of our bulldozers are already being used on our weekly demolition derbies in the mud pit.”

Strangely, a brick landed on the ground about ten yards to our left. While startling, we ignored it. I asked him to elaborate. “Oh, sure. Every Thursday after all the kids go home we just climb on into all the cranes and CATs and stuff and just smash into each other. It’s a real fun time.” I asked if it ever causes any damage. “Well sure! It ain’t called a ‘demolition derby’ for nothing. The mud pit is that big open area that slopes down from Quail next to the building. Remember when we said it’d all be done by this year, last year? Well, we got pretty d— close but then Steven over here got drunk and smashed the foundation. Whole building just fell on down. Nobody got killed, but Steven ain’t never been quite the same.”

I also asked him about the commons, inquiring why it was covered in plywood if nothing was being constructed there yet. “Well, you see, that there is where we all been living. The trailers out front are reserved specifically for The Boss.” Another brick fell on the ground out of nowhere. “We’ve all been sleeping on top of the plywood and scattered all around the old commons. Getting a good sleepin’ spot can be mighty competitive.” He laughs. “Just last week, Tommy McMurtry got his ear bitten off by ol’ Bottleneck Jim. Wanted to sleep on the bench. Nobody sleeps on that bench but Jim and he knows it. Anyway, that’s what we’re doing whenever you hear somebody clomping around on top of the plywood.”

I also asked him about supply chain issue rumors and construction going slower than expected. “Yeah, a bunch of rats ate all of our concrete a couple months ago. We’ve also been missing a bunch of bricks. Every time we’re scheduled for some new ones, the shipment is always mysteriously destroyed or disappears. Kinda weird really. In the last one, the semi carrying them all got into a crash. When we went and checked it out, though, all the bricks were missing from the storage container! Heh. Some people think it’s cursed or somethin’. I don’t believe in none of that though.” A third brick landed uncomfortably close, so we had to take a quick break to relocate.

Lastly, I asked him about the new wings of the school. “Well, we’re tryin’ our best. We got two companies working on it right now, ‘cept one of them has only ever built malls and one of ‘em has only ever built prisons. Sounds weird but it’s been working surprisingly well. They tried to get the same architects that built Provo High, but with the school bond not passin’ and all they had to settle for someone cheaper. You guys really should’ve bundled that bill. Anyway, I only ever worked on prisons because I myself got a lot of experience in the industry. What was I in jail for? Ah, nothing important. Nothing you kids gotta worry about.”

I had some more questions, but the dinner bell rang and Dusty scampered away before I could finish. The construction companies have asked that we keep their names anonymous.

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About the Contributor
Elijah Harker, Editor-in-Chief
Editor in Chief of The Thunderbolt, class of '24. I keep bees and collect typewriters. I am often confused

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    melissaApr 18, 2023 at 2:08 PM

    “Kid, you’ve got no idea how funny it is lookin’ at all of you little idiots frantically driving and running around in the mornings.” This made me actually lol